Recovering from Christian Marriage & Sex Books

My husband and I have not been ones in our almost 24 years of marriage to read Christian marriage and sex books. We’ve read one—Tim and Kathy Keller’s. And now here I am, about halfway through reading Sheila Gregoire’s, along with Rebecca Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky, The Great Sex Rescue. I keep talking to my husband about it. Gregoire and her team thoroughly surveyed 20,000 Christian women about their sex lives. She juxtaposes their findings with the teaching in bestselling Christian books on marriage and sex. It is so revealing. I’m quoting some of the stats to my husband, such as how conservative religious women experience more pain during sex than the general population. I’m quoting from the bestselling Christian books, where the whole meaningfulness of sex is often bypassed to talk about men’s innate “needs,” where both man and woman’s satisfaction is placed on the woman, where it’s the married woman’s responsibility is to fulfill her man’s lust and up to pubescent young girls to divert their own friends’ fathers’ gaze! I wrote in the margin and spoke out loud to my husband, Thank goodness we didn’t read this crap!

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